A little bit about myself...

not every blog needs to be about Liam right? I decided to write about my Faith today. Most of you who are reading this know that I believe in God and to be more precise, in Jesus Christ and now I want to explain why.

Ever since I was a child I believed in a God mainly because my mother went to a church with me and my brother. The songs we sang at the children's group about God loving all children and the times we prayed to Him left a big impact on me in those early years. Looking back, I remember that I never wanted to sleep before I told my mom "God bless you" and before she replied "you too." One time I recall closing my door and telling God to show me a sign by me counting to three if he really existed. I counted and when I finally said 3 and nothing had happened I told God that I would still believe in Him. I never questioned that there was a God there, a big Almighty God, but it was not until later in life that this God became a very personal, loving and most of all saving God to me.

We eventually stopped going to church and the older I became the less interested I was in God. All of a sudden so many other things where interesting. As a young adult my life was just a big party. The goal was to have as much fun as possible and I was pretty successful. (-; I lived from one weekend to the other and if I look back now most of it was just superficial and meaningless. But back then it was not. It was my life and I loved it. I had great friends, was invited to the best parties in town, kissed the most handsome guys and the list goes on and on...sometimes I was so happy that I almost couldn't take it and just wanted to jump! But then later on there came evenings where I could not fall asleep because I was thinking about the deeper meaning of my life. 'This can't be it...this can't be all there is' are some thoughts that crossed my mind over and over again. Like I said, I was not unhappy with my life at all! The opposite was the case, I had everything I wanted and often thought that there is not a single person in the world I would want to change my life with so please don't think that my faith is a gapfiller or a substitute for something. I soon had new thoughts like "Where do I come from?" and "Where do I go?" and "Why on earth am I here at all?" They would come back again and again.
This is when my search for true meaning began, my search for truth! I just could not believe that over 6 billion people walk around this big balloon called earth everyday and that it all happened by chance...there had to be a bigger meaning to it. I knew that what I was looking for wasn't something this world had to offer. It just amazed me to think about the function of the human eye or to look at my finger and how it moves if I want it too. All this can not just be coincidence. Looking back I am 100% sure that God himself put all these thoughts in my head. He started looking for me when I wasn't even interested. I am not trying to force my believes on you by reading this but I challenge you to not just read it lighthearted and forget about it the next minute, but to remember it the next time you think about the meaning of your life and what it's all about.

For my part, I knew that these thougths would come back for the rest of my life if I would not go after them. It was a vacuum in my heart that could not be filled with any happiness the world has to offer. For a while I believed the common belief that all ways lead to the truth in the end, but then it became clear to me that one truth requires one God and soon after I read the following verse in my Bible. "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and not one comes to the Father except through Me." That's what Jesus said about 2000 years ago and you can read in in the gospel of (John 14 verse 6) There were still so many questions on my mind then but in my heart I knew already that this was the truth. At this time my brother already became a Christian and was sending me some Bible verses as text messages. One I remember in particular was Romans 1 verse 20 "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities his eternal power and divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse."

My plan was to wait to live my life with God until I was old and about to die. For know I just wanted to have a fun filled life and the whole living as a Christian life did not seem to go along with that very well. It seemed to me that God was all about prohibitions and rules! I did not know yet that Christ really came to set us free (Galatians 5:1) and to give us life abundantly (John 10:10). How could the life that the one who calls himself 'the life' gives not be good anyway? Well, for me it took alot of conversations with other believers and time to understand that a life with Jesus is the only life worth living. In that time I suddenly started to fear death which eventually brought me to my knees. As I mentioned I wanted to wait till I am old, but all of a sudden I was afraid that I might not have the next day. I layed down at night and hoped that I would wake up the next morning. I knew that if I would die tonight I would not be ready to meet God. I knew I needed forgiveness. This is nothing anyone wants to hear, but we all need God's forgiveness because we don't meet His standards. His standards not ours. My "I am allright!" "I am not that bad!" was not enough. Perfection is what was needed to meet the perfect, holy God. And only one man was perfect. He chose to die for all my shortcomings and failures, for all my sin so that I can find forgiveness and reconciliation with God.

One night I went outside to a park, sat down on a bench and prayed to the Almighty GOD. That evening I became God's child. John 1:12 says, "Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God." It has been almost 10 years now and the vacuum I had in my heart was filled. I never had the questions come back either. I still don't understand everything, but I don't understand how the human eye works exactly either and yet I am able to see. I see God in work in my life and I see him in His creation. He became the WAY, the TRUTH and the LIFE to me and I wanted to share this with you who are reading this. Which better day could I have picked to write this than good Friday! That's where it all started! On Easter Sunday we will have Liam's baby dedication at our church!
By no means a baby dedication should be compared to the baby baptism. It is more like a promise the parents give to raise the child according to God's will and God's word. There is no greater responsibility than being able to teach Liam about our Father in Heaven from an early age on. It is wonderful being able to share my faith with Lance and to pray together for our son. It is our biggest wish that Liam gets to know Christ one day personally. Happy Easter and much love to all of you!
Lana.